Resources
“In my own worst seasons I’ve come back from the colorless world of despair by forcing myself to look hard, for a long time, at a single glorious thing: a flame of red geranium outside my bedroom window. And then another: my daughter in a yellow dress. And another: the perfect outline of a full, dark sphere behind the crescent moon. Until I learned to be in love with my life again. Like a stroke victim retraining new parts of the brain to grasp lost skills, I have taught myself joy, over and over again.”
– Barbara Kingsolver, High Tide in Tucson: Essays from Now or Never
“In my own worst seasons I’ve come back from the colorless world of despair by forcing myself to look hard, for a long time, at a single glorious thing: a flame of red geranium outside my bedroom window. And then another: my daughter in a yellow dress. And another: the perfect outline of a full, dark sphere behind the crescent moon. Until I learned to be in love with my life again. Like a stroke victim retraining new parts of the brain to grasp lost skills, I have taught myself joy, over and over again.”
– Barbara Kingsolver, High Tide in Tucson: Essays from Now or Never
We have selected a few of our favorite books, poems, and websites related to grief. We offer these resources as a starting place for your own journey.
Books About Grief
Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief
Joanne Cacciatore, Somerville, MA. Wisdom Publications, 2017.
Cacciatore wrote this beautiful memoir after her daughter’s death. She debunks many common myths that may obstruct our grief and shame our own process. Organized into 52 short chapters, she offers the possibility that over time grief will open our hearts and bring us into deeper connection and compassion with our selves and others. The book is filled with stories and is a wonderful and comforting companion to those who have lost someone they love.
It’s Ok That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that Does Not Understand
Megan Devine, Boulder, Colorado. Sounds True, 2017.
Meghan Devine’s message to readers is that grief is a natural and sane response to loss. It is also an expression of love. Devine lost her partner in a drowning accident, and her book addresses what is often left unsaid about grief and loss. She tells us we don’t move on from grief. We move forward with it. This book is invaluable to those who are grieving, as well as to those who know others who are bereft. It debunks many of the cultural myths of grief that can too often block its full expression.
Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief
Martha Whitemore Hickman and Lorna Raver, et al New York: Avon Books, 1994.
This little book offers daily meditations for those who are grieving. I have given these books to clients and group members who report that they find these meditations comforting.
Lasting Words: A Guide to Finding Meaning Toward the Close of Life
Claire B. Willis, Brattleboro, VT. Green Writers Press, 2014.
This beautiful book with written reflections, evocative photographs, and accessible poetry, focuses on special end-of-life concerns. Willis gently guides the reader through a personal journey to Gratitude, Hope, Forgiveness, Wisdom, Prayer and Ultimately Endings. A wonderful companion for midlife as well as the end of life.
Memoirs Inspired by Grief
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. New York: Vintage Books, 2006.
This book starts with Joan Didion’s first words after her husband’s death: “Life changes fast. Life changes in the instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends. The question of self pity.” Didion’s memoir is a searingly honest depiction of a long marriage, both easeful and difficult at times, that ends abruptly in death.
A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. New York: Harper Collins, 1961.
This classic book written by Lewis after the death of his wife deals with his loss of faith and his experience regaining a sense of meaning in his life.
When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi and Abraham Vergese. New York: Random House, 2016.
This book is written by a surgeon who, at 36 and at the height of his career, was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. Kalanithi’s book, written from the point of view of both physician and patient, affirms life, even in the midst of a crisis. At one moment, Kalanithi writes, “I can’t go on. I’ll go on.” When Breath Becomes Air is a testament to human resilience and an inspiring read.
Poems
Please click on titles to read poems.
For Grief – John O’Donohue
We Remember Them – Sylva Kaymens and Rabbi Jack Riemer
Death of a Dog – Ted Kooser
The Guest House – Rumi
Talking to Grief – Denise Levertov
The Long Boat – Stanley Kunitz
Websites
whatsyourgrief.com
This website is an abundantly rich resource both for connecting with people who are grieving, as well as finding articles on just about every aspect of grief. The articles and blogs are thoughtful, comprehensive, and well-written.
creativegriefstudio.com
This website was started by two women who have suffered the loss of babies and their own good health. They both live with chronic illnesses and a number of losses that emanate from that. The website offers a variety of ways to work with grief, in images as well as language. They send out a monthly newsletter, which offers support and words of comfort.
mindfulnessandgrief.com
This website is rich with resources for approaching grief with mindfulness and self-care. Heather Stang offers meditative podcasts, as well as a variety of resources including books and articles for navigating grief from a mindful approach.
modernloss.com
This website was started by two young women who lost their parents. The website offers essays from people who have experienced all types of losses – for example a partner, sibling, or parent etc. The site is well organized, so it is easy to locate the support you need. There are links to wonderful articles, as well as ways to connect with others who have suffered losses similar to your own.
RefugeInGrief.com
Megan Devine, the creator of RefugeInGrief.com, is a psychotherapist, writer, grief advocate, & communication expert dedicated to helping you live through things you never thought you’d face. She has created an online community and resources that help people survive some of the hardest experiences of their lives. Through her book, podcasts, and online courses, she helps people learn the skills they need to love themselves – and each other – better.